A Happy Family
by Monniemoo
Summary: The biggest tragedy is not to die. No, it is to go on living, to persevere; to laugh, to smile, when you know that a piece of your soul has been lost forever.


_The biggest tragedy is not to die. No, it is to go on living, to persevere; to laugh, to smile, when you know that a piece of your soul has been lost forever._

We were happy once.

I still remember; we were a happy family, always smiling, always laughing. We would eat dinner together, we would talk, sometimes we would play board games, and we would take trips whenever there was time. We were an ordinary family, and we were happy.

Soichiro would come home exhausted from work, but no matter how tired he was, he'd always make time to sit down and hear Light's latest achievement, or listen to Sayu chatter about her school's latest gossip. His face would light up with joy the moment he walked through the doorway. This was his sanctuary, his special place away from the crimes of the world, and I worked hard to keep it that way. I knew something was horribly wrong when one day, there was no joy on his face, only a heavy weariness. After that day, he smiled less and less, until the smiles no longer reached his eyes. I wish I could've seen his true smile one last time, before…

Light has always been a brilliant child. From the moment he was born, we knew he was special. It was something in his eyes, something that whispered of greatness. He was always the top of his class, always doing well and striving to do better. It seemed as though everything he tried, he did well at. We could not have been more proud of him. He was truly his father's son, too- always driven by justice. Everything had to be fair, everything had to be equal. It didn't take him long to get involved with the police force. As a mother, I worried for him, but I couldn't prevent him from following in his father's footsteps. It worried me a great deal more when even Soichiro, who had asked for Light's help on cases before, tried to keep him away from the Kira case. I wanted more than anything for him to stay out of it, because I could already tell that I was losing my husband to it. Light's ambition has always been nearly unstoppable, though, so it was no great surprise when at last he joined the investigation team. It was only a matter of time before I lost my son, too. Hours spent on the case turned into days and then whole weeks where I never got to see him. He came back home at one point in such a disheveled state that I wanted to insist that he stop, but I knew he was in too deep. In the end, he was swallowed by the case, just like my husband. Like father, like son.

Sayu, my daughter, my precious gem. She is the only thing that I have left in the vestiges of this happy family. She was always so bright, not in her mind like Light was, but in her soul. Her smile could light up any room. I watched her grow, watched her bloom like a beautiful flower. I also watched her wither. It came out of nowhere. I didn't even know what the phonecall meant at first. I should have known something was wrong when Soichiro called me in the middle of the day, but it didn't occur to me until Sayu didn't come home at all that night. For two whole days, I heard nothing. I waited by the phone the whole day, but it never rang. I even slept there. It wasn't until late two nights afterwards that Soichiro brought her back. She wasn't Sayu, though. She was like a giant doll. She didn't speak, she hardly moved. Her eyes, which used to be so bright and lively, were empty and blank. It hurt me every time I saw that vacant stare. It was like someone had stolen her soul away.

It took a while, but she started to heal. Even after Soichiro's death, she managed to smile. Her soul was coming back to her. Watching the light in her eyes grow was all that kept me going. As long as I had her, and as long as I knew my son was still alive out there, everything was alright. I fooled myself into believing that she was whole again, that she was healed, but I was wrong. When Light died, it was as if the fire of her soul was extinguished. She didn't go entirely back to the way she was before- she still talked, she still functioned- but her eyes were once again lifeless. She's just a shell of a person now, doing things that normal people do but without any passion for life.

All I wanted was to have a family with the man I loved, to give my two children a good life, to live happily together. Have I failed, as a wife and as a mother?


End file.
